Humpty Dumpty | True Spooky Stories of the Paranormal | Ep #34

0:01 Do you have a true strange story of the unexplained? Submit it now on madamstrangeways.com or e-mail madamstrangeways@gmail.com. I can't wait to read it. Oh, I didn't hear you come in. Well, let's see. What do we have here? I see some strangers, some strangelings, some strange cetera, and who's that over there in the back? Stranger Reno's Well, welcome all of you to Madam Strangeways, where I, Madam Strangeways, narrate your true strange stories of the unexplained.

0:43 And as always, solicited or not, usually not. I share my strange thoughts and even stranger observations, and I drag you down a slew of strange rabbit holes, kicking and screaming if needs must. Today I've got one new true, strange story for you. But first, a strange shout out to my Patreon patrons TJ Hotter, G Man Music, Ted, Keith and Tori. Thank you so much to my Feral Fiendish Etcetera 5 for supporting the show. If you want to hear your name in the beginning of every episode and turn the Feral Fiendish Etcetera 5 into some sort of sinister 6 perhaps, well then, why don't you go ahead and join the Patreon at madamstrangeways.com or patreon.com/madam Strange Ways. And now on to our true strange story here on Madam Strange Ways.

2:10 Some weirdness for your podcast by Daniel Barton. I grew up in a house where there was a lot of weirdness, usually just glimpses of impossible things, like a figure walking through the very much closed front room door. It looked like my older brother, but was walking fast and staring blankly ahead. It disappeared when I turned to face it fully. I also saw a shadowed hand waved to me on a glass window. Now I don't mean a reflection of a hand in the glass, I mean a proper dark shadow on the glass.

3:00 The wardrobe in my bedroom was a built in one and my mother always said she got an uneasy feeling when near it. I once saw the same figure that looked like my brother run across the landing to the top of the stairs and disappear. The weirdest, however, is when I woke up to see Humpty Dumpty standing in front of my wardrobe. It was a humanoid figure with arms and legs, but its body and head were the egg and it had a very cartoonish face.

3:45 It was wearing a suit and top hat. My older brother then crawled into bed, scared because he could see it too. Eventually he got out of the bunk bed and turned the bedroom lights on and the figure disappeared. When he turned it off, Humpty returned but cut in half before disappearing completely. I was walking home from school once and saw what may have been a UFO. It was just hovering up above in the sky. It never seemed to move and stayed there for the whole walk home.

4:35 I was at Butland's holiday park and I was walking around. I thought I saw somebody I recognized and touched her shoulder to get her attention. She turned around and it wasn't who I thought it was, but her eyes were entirely black. I'd never heard of Black Eyed children before, and this was a very long time before supernatural even started living in a different house. I woke up once and saw my mother standing at the opposite end of my room by the doorway. She just stood there and stayed standing there unmoving.

5:23 It wasn't my mother, but it had the same kind of clothes she wears and it also had no face. The face thing may have just been because of me not having my glasses on. I hid under my quilt until it disappeared or I fell asleep. Another house I lived in, and this may be the most definitively weird one, involved the upstairs bathroom. Me and my younger brother shared a room where we were. We could see across the landing directly to the bathroom door which was mostly closed. There is literally no way anybody could leave or enter the bathroom without us seeing it.

6:17 However, as we sat there, each playing video games on our consoles, we heard the tap running in the bathroom, but the light was off. Thinking this was weird, we both looked at the bathroom for a few seconds. My younger brother called out to ask who was in the bathroom, but there was no response, save for the very distinctive squeak of the tap being turned off. My brother then got up and went and opened the bathroom door only to find nobody inside.

7:13 Daniel, thank you so much for submitting this horrifying smorgasbord, smorgasbord, smorgasbord. I think it's just smorgasbord anyway, the smorgasbord of horror. Thank you very much for sending this. I love that it that it hits on everything. It hits on haunted houses. It hits on UFOs. You got Black Eyed children. You got no, that's, I think that's I think that's it. Potentially A poltergeist. You've you've just got a little, little sampler plate of everything and it's all just so tasty, delicious. Thank you so much. First of all, as always, I'm sorry that you had to experience these things because I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sure, I know they were horrifying at the time. They're probably still kind of scary now that you're thinking about them.

8:04 So I do appreciate that you took the time to type these out and submit them. So thank you very much. There's, there's so much to unpack here, but here's what really here's here's what really stood out to me. There's a few things 1 I had a very similar experience to the sync situation. So I kind of want to share that with you because I was like, I've never heard anyone tell the same kind of like bathroom story before. So I'll share that in a second. But two things that also stood out to me was firstly, the terrifying Humpty Dumpty ghost. I will say when I was doing my research for this episode, I was going to make this just a quick one, but there's so much here that I, I'm going to try. I don't know.

8:49 Anyway, in my research, a lot of people were saying that illustrations of Humpty Dumpty scarred them as children and to this day, kind of like permanently terrifies them. The concept of Humpty Dumpty. So you're not alone in being scared by Humpty Dumpty, but you may be alone in that Humpty Dumpty actually came into your room and terrified you as a child. I don't know. Hey, you know what, if you're listening to this, if you're listening to this episode and you personally were victimized by Humpty Dumpty, let me know. E-mail me madamstrangeways@gmail.com. But the other thing that I definitely wanted to talk about is seeing that girl with her eyes entirely black, which is super, super spooky.

9:35 Now, this is actually where I was going to tell you my own experience that sounded a lot like what you experienced with your brother and the bathroom. In fact, I was like halfway through reading my own experience or telling you my own experience and then I realized, oh wait, I was going to do an episode where I tell y'all my own personal experiences and that's one of the experiences. So actually this is a spoiler spoiler alert. One day you will hear my own experiences, but that day is not today. So sorry but a pin in that for a future time. Instead, I want to talk about Butlins Holiday Park, where Dan experienced the woman with the entirely black eyes.

10:22 So first of all, Butlin's holiday Park. I'm an American, the obviously, so I don't understand things because that's what Americans do. And so I definitely pictured like a Christmas park, a Christmas thing. But then I realized, no, no, no. If you're in the UK or probably Europe in general, when you say holiday, you just mean like vacation or like time off, like long weekend. So it's definitely not if it's not like American holiday related, it's just it's a vacation. We don't really have the equivalent of a holiday park in America. Here's what it says. A holiday camp is a type of holiday accommodation, primarily in the United Kingdom, that encourages holiday makers to stay within the site boundary and provides entertainment and facilities for them throughout the stay. Bognor Regis, however, does not sound particularly enticing. Doesn't sound like somewhere that I want to go on a holiday. Actually, it kind of sounds like it's got ROUSS. Rodents of Unusual Size.

11:26 That's a Princess Bride reference there for you. That's what it sounds like to me. Personally, I don't really want to go there. Also, King George the 5th didn't really want to go there either, but because he was really sick for reasons I cannot remember and I am trying really hard to not click back over to the tab and check, but just know that King George the fifth was sick and so he temporarily moved to Bognor. When it was just called Bognor, he moved there temporarily to convalesce in the sea air, which is the thing people did back then when they were sick. Or I guess it's not a thing that people did. I think it's just a thing that rich people did back then. So anyway, he moved there and then after moving there, they renamed Bognor to Bognor Regis, which is a thing that I didn't know happened until today.

12:17 So thank you for teaching me something. Now I couldn't find any specific ghosts or like urban legends or anything spooky specific to Bognor Regis, and the only deaths or anything weird that I could find that happened at the actual Butlins Holiday Park in Bognor Regis. The only deaths that I could find there were well after Supernatural started, which was in 2005. And isn't that suspicious that there's no deaths reported at a holiday park prior to 2005? Interesting. Billy Butlin, what are you hiding from us? What are you hiding? But I did find some very spooky ghost stories that are from southwest England and kind of specifically in the Sussex area. Ish.

13:04 You know, I'm not from there, so please forgive me if I'm not talking about the areas of England like I should. OK, Just give me a break. So one of them is called the headless hitchhiker. Not to be confused with the Headless Horseman. Very different. So the headless hitchhiker, actually, though the story doesn't involve a horse. Interesting. The headless hitchhiker in Horsham, So it says. If you live near Horsham, you will know the tale of the hermit St. Leonard, after whom St. Leonard's Forest was named. Obviously, duh. But when I was younger my father warned me not to ride my horse across the forest. Who has a horse?

13:45 Oh boy, when I was younger my father warned me not to ride my horse across the forest for another reason. In the 19th century, there were a number of reports from riders of being joined by an unexpected and ghostly passenger riding pillion behind him. Pillion means they're riding on the saddle behind you, like behind you on the on the horse. He's on the horse and he's headless and he's literally riding right behind you. That's scary. I don't like it, but it doesn't doesn't seem to match our MO of of what Dan experienced. However, OK, here's OK, I'll give you one more. Cuthbert of Flansham.

14:32 This is off to a great start in the 1930's, the Manor house and Flansham. I think I'm saying that right because it's spelled like Flan's ham, but I think it's Flancham. I'm just going to move on. And the 1930's. The Manor house in Flancham had quite a reputation for its resident ghost, and many visitors reported meeting Cuthbert. There was nothing sinister about him, and he would apparently always vanish rather apologetically. He was noted for wearing flannel trousers. He would just be like, sorry, oh, sorry. Bye. And wearing flannel pants. OK, but of course in the UK, when you say pants, you generally mean underwear and trousers mean pants. So anyway, he had flannel trouser pants. Interesting.

15:25 But before we leave Butland's holiday park in Bognor Regis, I did find this little piece of trivia about the park Says during World War 2, the holiday park at Bognor was a God of hope. I'm saying Bognor, right? Bognor. Oh, it might be Bognor. That's not good because I don't want to redo this. So pause. Let's check. OK, Google, how do you pronounce Bognor Regis? That's pronounced Bognor Regis. Yeah. OK, great. I've been saying it like Trogdor. Bognor, you come on. All right, You know what? I'm always learning this is this is I'm leaving this and I'm not going to rerecord.

16:09 I'm not going to go back and edit it. You're just seeing it live. I can make mistakes and then I can learn from them. What a great lesson. So Bogner, Bogner, Bogner, Bogner, man, come on. During World War 2, the holiday park at Wagner was a cause for concern for Butlin. The park had always had a shooting range and during the late 1930's the targets were replaced with images of Hitler, Goering, Goebbels and Ribbentrop. After the Battle of Dunkirk, Butlin became concerned that should the Germans invade the South Coast, the first thing they might see was the gallery making Butlin into a target. Which aside from the, you know, the cowardice of thinking, uh oh, that might make me a target.

16:58 How badass is that? That's pretty badass. So all right, I'll let him be a little bit concerned. I don't know. It doesn't say that he took them down. I kind of, I feel like, let's get those back up. You know, I feel like those can just go right back up. Maybe that's a 24/7 Evergreen kind of thing that they need to do at the park. I don't know. Do they even still have a shooting range? Do you know? Let me know, madamestrangeways@gmail.com. So I couldn't find anything else spooky about Butland's Holiday Park or about Wagner. That's just not good. I couldn't find anything else particularly spooky except the famous author of some X-rated love letters that will surely haunt you till your dying day. James Joyce, the novelist and author of Ulysses, apparently worked on his book Finnegan's Wake while staying in Bognor. Damn it.

17:57 Bogner. Bogner in 1923. So this is even before it was called Bogner. Am I saying that right? Yeah, this is even before it was called Bogner Regis. It was just Bogner when James Joyce was there. So fascinating. Also, don't read those love letters. If you haven't. Don't do it. I did it and I don't recommend it. Or maybe, maybe you're into it. I don't know. I'm not going to yuck your Yum. Have fun. OK, so Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Everyone knows the rhyme. Apparently, many people have been traumatized by the sight of a Humpty Dumpty in an illustration. Some people say Humpty Dumpty is really referencing a Canon that was used in Colchester.

18:43 Now, I'm not sure that I'm pronouncing anything right. Colchester. I think it's, I think I could say Colchester in the siege of 1648. Some people say Humpty Dumpty is really a siege engine. Siege engine used in the evil English Civil War in 1643. Now, a siege engine is not an engine like we think. It's not like Thomas. No, no, you should Google it because I thought it was really interesting. It's you. It's like made out of trees, like wood, like I guess that's what trees are made-up. And anyway, don't it's not an engine engine.

19:24 It's a, it's a, it's not a steam engine. OK, anyway, just go look it up. It's interesting. Or don't. It's fine. Lots of sieges and wars in the 1600s in England. Anyway, those theories, the Canon, the the siege engine, don't really hold up. They don't hold water, they don't hold up to scrutiny, even though they're pretty cool and I like it. However, it is suggested that Humpty Dumpty, if Humpty Dumpty, was actually anything other than just a Riddle, and the answer to that Riddle was that Humpty Dumpty is an egg. Which is why he's always depicted as an egg, because if you'll note, the rhyme doesn't actually call him an egg or reference an egg in any way.

20:05 That's probably what it was. But if it's not that, if it's not that, then Humpty Dumpty is purportedly King Richard the Third of England, depicted as hunchbacked in Tudor histories and particularly in Shakespeare's play, and who was defeated despite his armies, all the King's horses and all the King's men at Bosworth Field in 1485. So, you know, that's the origin of Humpty Dumpty. I was kind of hoping for something a little more spooky. I was hoping that maybe I could find some like esoteric or just generally spooky thread and pull it, you know, and, and unravel the mystery behind Humpty Dumpty Haunting Dan.

20:51 Oh, Humpty Dumpty haunted a boy Humpty. Humpty Dumpty finish that rhyme. If you finish that rhyme and you come up with a new rhyme where Humpty Dumpty is, Humpty Dumpty is terrorizing our boy. Dan sent it to me madamestrangeways@gmail.com. Anyway, I couldn't find anything else it was particularly scary other than like I've said, Humpty Dumpty just scares kids. But as I'm researching Humpty Dumpty, But what do my wandering eyes should appear on the Wikipedia page is none other than James Joyce. He's back. What is he doing on my screen?

21:32 Why is he on the Wikipedia page for Humpty Dumpty? Apparently. Apparently, James Joyce used the story of Humpty Dumpty as a recurring motif in The Fall of Man in the 1939 novel Finnegan's Wake, which, as you will recall, he was writing in Bogner. Soon to be Bogner Regis. What? So what? Hold on Dan, is James Joyce haunting you like he was in Bogner Regis well, Bogner, he was in Bogner. He wrote about Humpty Dumpty. Those are two are you?

22:13 James Joyce is is this? Am I on to something here? I feel like I'm on to something. All I'm saying is I've never seen Dan and James Joyce in the same room together. Did James Joyce maybe see his own spectral Humpty Dumpty? And then that's why he was so inspired to write about him when he's in Bogner? I leave you now with a dramatic reading of an earlier and much scarier version of the Humpty Dumpty rhyme. Humpty Dumpty lay in a beck with all his sinews around his neck. 40 doctors and 40 rights.

23:10 Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty to rights this like Halloween like stalk music in the background playing just imagine that was there. What do you think? Spooky haunted. Dan, thank you so much again for sending me your story. I really appreciate it. Now Dan is a listener who submitted his story and you, yes, you listening you, unless you haven't experienced anything spooky, in which case, wow, lucky. But if you listening, have experienced something unexplained, I do want to read about it. So go ahead, send me an e-mail madamstrangeways@gmail.com or you can hop on the website at madamstrangeways.com.

24:04 Thank you for joining me. For more true strange stories of the unexplained, remember that you can feel afraid and not be in danger. You're safe here with me, probably. Please follow the podcast, leave a rating on Spotify or Apple, or tell your friends and foes about the show. It would mean the world to me. The underworld, obviously. I mean, come on. Madame Strangeways is produced and narrated by me. Madame Strangeways thememusicisbymarina.ryan@marinamakes.co Cover art is by Andrea Chiselle, rolled on at Cult of Teddy on Instagram. You can submit your own true strange story at madamstrangeways.com or send in your thoughts or theories on stories on the show to madamstrangeways@gmail.com. See you soon, she said ominously. This these are the terms for these are the names of Humpty Dumpty in German and

25:34 Pennsylvania Dutch. So apparently there's two versions. Apparently there's two versions in German. One is Viegela Vangela. I don't know. Did I do it? And this is the one that really got me is Humblekin Pumpukin. Humblekin, pumpukin. Is it humble? What does the umlaut do? That's a mystery for another time. And then Pennsylvania Dutch. It's Haberty Bob. There you go.